Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The Things People Do

During a normal week of training, coaching and consulting I visit quite a few different training facilitys other than just my own. Of course, many of these visits provide me with the opportunity to witness some seriously disturbing images. Yesterday I was in a public gym in New York City and witnessed the following:

A man in his early thirties doing dumbell presses with FIFTEEN POUND DUMBBELLS!!! And not only that but he was struggling. Now I am the last guy to make fun of someone for being weak or being a beginner or what not, but FIFTEENS at thirty years old?!!? I mean come on! How can you even walk the streets as a man? I would be terrified everywhere I went if I knew that I was that weak. I've never trained a single female that didn't work up to at least thirty fives. The sad part is I will see that guy again in a few months and at the most he will be doing twentys.

Bu then again, I doubt it.

Worse than that was that this guys trainer, who after careful assesment, decided that just what a guy this weak needs is six sets of cable crossover flyes with hideous form after his dumbbell presses. Brilliant deduction. That will get him strong and huge in no time.

Later I saw that same tandem repeating a few more oddities. At the trainers instruction, ol' Pure Power boy was doing some kind of standing knee raise that seemed to make no sense at all. It was a move that you would see Tito Ortiz do to Ken Shamrock at a UFC event by grabbing his head and pulling it down into his knee while simultaneously flexing at the hip and lifting his knee to Kens head. But there was no opponent, no head to hit; just air. He did this for numerous reps, apparently as his "cardio."

I was as confused as Eric Cressey in a topless bar so I got as far away as I could.

The next thing I saw was a trainer forcing his client to do twisting sit ups on a Roman Chair with a broomstick behind his head. The guy was obviously a novice and couldn't do a single rep. But the trainer yelled at him and made fun of him incessantly and forced him to press on. One of the trainers friends walked by and he shouted, "John come here. Watch this." Then proceeded to tell his client to attempt another set, no less than twenty seconds after the last "set," mind you. They both laughed. On the last rep, it looked like the guy broke his back in four places and collapsed to the floor screaming. He had to be carried out.

I also saw a guy listening to his iPod, the entire time he trained his client. I shit you not.

And then there was the female trainer who was dressed in designer jeans and knee high boots working the streets, I mean gym floor. An odd way to dress for a job in a gym, I thought. Meanwhile her husband "trained" another client across the gym while answering his phone every five minutes and sending emails like a horny 13 year old on myspace.

It might just be me but if someone is paying you for an hour, I think it would only be right to stay the fuck off your phone. But maybe I'm wrong.

When my time was finally up in this circus, I made my way to the door, longing for the relief the outdoors would provide my scarred psyche. I tried to look down so as not to witness another travesty. It didn't work and my attention was grabbed again by an overweight girl in her twenties and her trainer. She was doing lying chest presses with a FIVE POUND medicine ball! FIVE FUCKING POUNDS! Two and a half pounds per arm. The worst part about it is that girl has been there for over a year.

I'm guessing that she won't be achieving the Jessica Biel look by summer.

How did this ever happen to my industry? I'm truly ashamed.


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